


The Man Who Cried President

by sybarite1



Series: Imperative [2]
Category: Fake News RPF, The Late Show with Stephen Colbert (TV)
Genre: Dialogue, Gen, Humor, Politics
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-13
Updated: 2017-03-13
Packaged: 2018-10-04 05:21:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 630
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10269167
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sybarite1/pseuds/sybarite1
Summary: Apparently it's bad form for fake you to fake run for president before real you really runs for inevitable withdrawal from the presidential race.





	

**Author's Note:**

> This continues from previous story [The Campaign to Lose the White House and Save America](http://archiveofourown.org/works/10136672) 

 

It is important for Stephen's sanity that it be clear to everyone (Jon, their wives, soon probably also Stephen's increasingly suspicious daughter) that he is _not_ running for president. He is merely _talking_ about running for president. Only with Jon, only as an ultimately losing failsafe and only as a series of fun hypothetical questions. Well, Stephen assumes they will be a series of hypotheticals, but currently they are still stuck on hypothetical question #1.

Because Jon still reads entirely too much for a man with growing children, he is calling it “the problem of initial framing” which as far as Stephen can tell is just fancy talk for "everyone will distrust me because I make jokes for a living."

Jon reckons it's a bit more complicated than that. After all, Jon and Stephen don't just make _jokes_ for a living. They make _political satire_ for a living. Some Americans may see that as a loving reproach of the system that upholds their rights but many others may see it as a fundamental lack of respect for the government and for the office of the president.

Worse still, they have a reputation for disliking politicians, which while untrue, is something the press and parties would have a field day with. Announcing "public officials are awful, please support my bid for public office," can only make them sound like Donald Trump. Another campaign of scorn is the last thing they want for the country.

Lastly, there's also just plain incredulity to deal with. Jon and Stephen have already created a Super PAC and exchanged it on television, created an exploratory committee to look into running for president and then kind-of-but-not-really tried to get on the ballot in South Carolina. The fact that this was all under the aegis of his "Stephen Colbert" character isn't immaterial so much as actively bad. Anyone who hears the words "presidential nominee" preceding his name are going to automatically think it's the lead in to another joke because _that's the precedent he and Jon have already established._

Apparently it's bad form for fake you to fake run for president before real you really runs for inevitable withdrawal from the presidential race.

"There's a lot of nuance," Jon says gravely.

"Well thank God nuance is something Americans are particularly good at grasping," deadpans Stephen.

"There's maybe too much nuance to try effectively spin it for everyone."

"Don't look so grim, we already know the only approach that won't require any spin."

"Oh no." Jon says – a grin is fighting to break out onto his face.

"Oh yes."

"Well, if nothing else, it's novel."

"Sure," agrees Stephen, "and I've been meaning to drink more heavily anyway."

And that's how they decide on a framing strategy of brutal honesty.

 

* * *

 

The theory is simple: they'll be open and upfront about everything, including Stephen's reluctance. They'll keep a record of everything. They'll make those records publicly available online. Anyone who wants to check their record against the spin the media later gives it can just stop by on their site. Want the speech behind the sound bite? Want to know if a newspaper is quoting current Stephen Colbert or past "Stephen Colbert?" Want the formal reference for a fact they cited? All there.

This'll only work if they're absolutely transparent. It also has the advantage of making the other candidates look as though they've something to hide, purely a happy side effect. So, if hypothetical question #1 is How to Frame Stephen's Bid, the answer is “window frame, not staging frame.”

"Hey, this is not so bad," Stephen takes off his glasses and rubs the bridge of his nose.

"Oh yeah?" Jon seems gently amused by his optimism.

"What's next?"

"HQ #2: are we allowed to be funny?"

"Ah, fuck."

 

* * *

 

fin.

**Author's Note:**

> What is and isn't real:
> 
> Overview of the "Stephen Colbert" 2008 bid for president [here.](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stephen_Colbert_presidential_campaign,_2008)


End file.
